People often ask me things such as "how come your baby girl is so good, happy and quiet all the time?" and those who've known my husband long before I met him are surprised by how many things he's done in the past few years that they would've never expected him to do.
He started speaking English without worrying about his pronunciation, which helped him focus on what truly mattered in the conversation and, later on, accept new tasks at work, which brought him a promotion and other benefits. He started travelling abroad and visited three countries and five cities in two weeks; by train, sure, since he hasn't overcome his fear of travelling by plane yet, but still... he stopped allowing this fear to limit his options and found a viable alternative. His parents told me he had changed after only a few months since he had met me: he had started to share his feelings in constructive ways and to talk more than before.
Many friends and family members say I've changed him. I'm afraid I have to disagree with them. I'd rather say that I've helped him become the person he's always been but that he feared or was not allowed to be before.
And the same thing happened with my daughter. I'm not disciplining or educating her. I'm just creating space for her to be herself, manifest her joyful soul, and discover the world at her pace. I'm doing my best to encourage her to make her own idea of everything around her, without imposing my views and biased conceptions.
I wish I could think and feel the same when I interact with adults. And I'm striving to, even though it takes so much conscious effort and love and there still are moments when I feel too tired to do so, forgetting that behaving any other way only adds to my tiredness because harmony brings peace whilst trying to impose our own point of view only generates frustration and exhaustion in everyone involved.
Can you imagine how the world and the people around us would be and feel if we all treated one another with love, if we respected others' perspectives and embraced each of them just the way they are, without trying to change them, fix them or make them share our own beliefs?
This has always been my way of thinking but it felt wrong since everyone used to tell me I was too ingenious and that the world didn't work that way. All the coaching theories, assumptions and skills I've discovered and developed in the past few years proved THEM wrong. I wasn't too ingenious. I was only respectful and I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to turn my mindset into the foundation of the job I love and lovingly do with my clients.
With love and gratitude,
XO,
Aniela
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